LITTLE STORIES TO RIDE FROM THE CODE OF THE WEST

1. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance (have exhibits ready and R. 803(18) cross-examination articles ready).
2. Never take to sawin' on the branch that's supportin' you, unless you're bein' hung from it.
3. The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm.  The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
4. If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't (remember, you don't have to ask questions on cross).
5. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around (be humble and honest as it gives you credibility).
6. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment (do not be afraid to "fail big" - take a risk to learn and succeed).
7. Generally, you ain't learnin' nothin' when your mouth is a-jawin'.
8. Makin' it in life is kinda like bustin' broncs:  you're gonna get thrown a lot.  The simple secret is to keep getting' back on (keep experimenting and keep trying).
9. No matter where you ride to, that's where you are.
10. Some things ain't funny (something to remind a police witness on cross when they smile).
11. You can just about always stand more 'n you think you can.
12. The best way to keep your word is not to give it foolishly (keep your credibility with the jury).
13. Never miss a good chance to shut up (remember not to ask that one question too many on cross).
14. You don't need decorated words to make your meanin' clear.  Say it plain and save some breath for breathin' (this is great advice for final argument).
15. Honesty is not somethin' you should flirt with - you should be married to it (a trial rule never to forget).
16. The cowboy who exaggerates too much soon finds that everyone else has left the campfire (forgetting this trial rule is a short cut to a guilty verdict).
17. No matter who says what, don't believe it if it don't make sense (argument:  something to remind your jury about the state's case).
18. If you find you're drinking most of your entertainment out of a can, it's time to look for your fun elsewhere (remember, you have to be healthy to be a good lawyer).
19. If you lead somebody around by the nose, it don't say much for them.  It says even less for you (argument:  do not insult your jury by not giving them credit for thinking - let them know you trust them).
20. You can't weigh the facts if you've got the scales loaded down with your opinions (argument:  every person has a right to be wrong in their opinion, just not wrong in their facts).
21. However one-sided a man may be, he will have other sides if you look hard enough (a good point to make during voir dire).s out of the greatest heat (look into your heart).
22. It's easy to see things you're lookin' for.  The trick is to see things you're not lookin' for (argument:  a great quote for reasonable doubt).
23. Watch about sayin' "it can't be done."  Somebody's liable to interrupt you by doin' it (trial rule:  those who "do" do, those that "try" often fail - tell yourself that you will win).
24. Don't squat with yer spurs on (rule of life:  think before you do)!

    These cowboy truisms came from the books Don't Squat with Yer Spurs On! I and II .

25. He had callouses from pattin' his own back (conceited officer).
26. One of them fellars that thinks the sun comes up specifically to hear him crow (conceited officer).
27. He was plumb weak north of his ears (not so smart officer).
28. So narrow-minded he could look through a keyhole with both eyes at the same time (the officer who makes no mistakes).
29. So drunk he couldn't hit the ground with his hat in three tries (the officer who overly exaggerates Billy Bob's condition or the DWI Defendant who ought to plead his case).
30. So dumb he couldn't teach a hen to cluck (not so smart officer).
31. He ain't got sense 'nough to spit downwind (not so smart officer or the judge).
32. He ain't 'zactly tongue-tied when it comes to makin' chin music (conceited or volunteering information officer).
33. She shore was in the lead when tongues were handed out (conceited or volunteering information officer).
34. They ought to hire him to keep the windmill goin' (conceited or volunteering information officer).

These cowboy truisms came from the book Cowboy Slang